just as usual...but recall something~

happy period was passing quickly while the miserable period is nearing again-mid-year exams...
i still the same,did procastination again!
let's do not talk about this~it'll be very boring!
i just waiting this Saturday to have fun with my friends-scouting with them as my former school having campfire~
i was recalling my sad memories about 4 years ago~17 of April,right on date the matters happened!
maybe it was my fault!what a great fault!
i was the one who always ''menyakit hati'' of grandpa~i ''sengaja'' watch the tv programme till ''lewat malam'' because i was lazy to do my homeworks!so,he scolded me but i didn't listen!
16th of April,i still did the same thing...but i slept at around 12 something~then i felt wanna eat icer-cream so i opened the refrigerator and used the spoon to grab it!unfortunately,grandpa heard this sound and he came out and scolded me again!but,i hide myself immediately![ps:i was 14 years old]still childish!afterwards i returned to bedroom and slept!an hour later,uncle knocked my door and he found that grandpa was fall down!all of us got panic and shocked!
oh my God!!!heart-attacked!!!he passed away~1 something in the morning of 17th April!
if i was not mistaken,my uncle blammed on me for a while!i felt very guilty!!!i damn hate myself~all of us knew that he told us his healthy was turning to green light!
haiz...after this,my family occurred a lot of problems~
my uncle facing mental problems,my mum and my aunt have health problem...moreover,grandma became lonely!her face's happiness liked disappeared in sudden!
come back to nowadays...i always think i am the most miserable people in the world because STPM is a huge challenge!i still have 8 to 9 months for having suffer!WTF...
all things was my fault!!!i didn't manage my timetable,i didn't work hard,i didn't implement my duties as a student/daughter...
so,i wish i'll have fun tomorrow during campfire!and before scouting,i'll going to sing k!!!haha!^^